I have been MIA when it comes to writing for a long time. The reason for this is many things, but I have come to realize that the most important of those is that I, sometime during the last years, have lost my focus and inner guiding voice and have been controlled by external factors for a long time.
I have known for a long time that something was off-balance but have never taken the time to articulate it or giving me time to adjust. Unfortunately, this has resulted in the feeling of slowly losing control over what I’m doing – resulting in a decreasing passion for what used to motivate me. Not a great place to be, and therefore a new start is needed.
A New Start
For many years, I have been caught in the glorification of busyness. Always delivering – but simultaneously, straying further away from what’s needed for me to thrive, feel inspired, and use a loud inner voice as a guide. As a result, even if I’m successful, measured by external factors, I more and more felt uninspired and on the wrong path. An unhealthy amount of work in a harmful stress spiral finally led to a crossroad – continue and perish, or start over, simplify and try to rediscover what made me spark from the beginning.
Listening to Amy Jo Martin in her podcast “Why Not Now?” gave me clarity on where I was on my journey. She unfolds her past decade and talks about the importance of sharpening your ability to hear your intuition. It’s a strategic advantage, but as the drive to force things to happen slowly disconnects you from your inner voice, you run on empty; I got words for what I have felt for a long time.
I have a similar drive to make things happen, but with the glorification of busyness and a focus on external feedback, I have more and more ignored my inner voice. With too much to do, I became fragmented into too many pieces. The harder I pushed, the more I felt that I got stuck in the same rut. But, if you have to push hard, you know that something is off and needs to change. And I know, if I ease up, I become more successful as the balance becomes better.
Rediscover Why
After making a hard reset of my life at the beginning of the year, I will begin a new journey focusing on my inner compass to rediscover my Why to find the balance. Finding back to be a guiding leader with an infinite mindset feels natural to me, and I’m thankful that there are voices to listen to that inspire me and help me to a clearer mind and path forward.
Deliberately investing my time is everything. It will give me the necessary space to think and reflect on finding balance and applying this in my role as a CIO to help organizations and entrepreneurs I get in touch with to get to an infinite mindset and build resilience.
My drive is still there; it’s a superpower – but the intention must be clear why I’m doing what I do and where I spend my time. I know this blog will be a central part of the journey, as it helps me connect with my voice, and writing will inspire me on the journey towards an infinite mindset.
In my next post, “A New Focus”, I will dive a little more in-depth into the main focus when writing. Welcome to join me on my journey, and feel free to reach out to me and share yours!
[This post was originally posted on Medium, April 5, 2020]
